


three conversations

by orphan_account



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Gen, this is weird?, why is the jace tag jace lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2189340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“My cat likes you better than me.”</p><p>Fifteen funny, random, or just plain weird conversations that Alexander Lightwood has had, involving everything from Polish plays to Star Wars references.</p>
            </blockquote>





	three conversations

**Author's Note:**

> now guys i don’t know whether plays in polish actually exist and whether or not people actually go to them, but for all intents and purposes in this fic they do, yeah?
> 
> also, don’t expect any further tmi things. tbqh, cassie clare just annoys me at this point, and this fic is only because alec lightwood is my bae. plus, an attempt to be funny! yay!
> 
> unbeta-ed, as always- feel very free to tell me about any glaring mistakes you see. comments and kudos are welcomed with joy and free muffins (if you like muffins, that is).

_i. alec and magnus_

“What happened to you?”

“I almost burned to death, and then I nearly drowned. Never go demon hunting with Jace.”

“Dear God, I hope not.”

. . .

“I thought it was the father I'm supposed to be scared of.”

“Well, you obviously don't know my mother well.”

. . .

“My cat likes you better than me.”

“What? Magnus, calm down-”

“ _My cat likes you better than me_.”

_ii. alec and jace_

“...Jace, please stop quoting _Breaking Bad_ while the Clave is over.”

. . .

“I can’t believe you just dragged me to a play. _In Polish_.”

“Shh, the lady in front of us looks a little murderous.”

“Of course she does. SHE’S WATCHING A MOTHERFUCKING POLISH PLAY.”

. . .

“Do _parabatai_ divorces exist?”

_iii. alec and isabelle_

“Remember that time I punched you?”

“Which one?”

. . .

“Izzy, don’t wave that whip around, you’re going to cut Jace’s head off. I mean, not that I’m objecting.”

“Can you be any more like Mom? Other than that last part, I mean, I think she’d object if I cut Jace’s head off.”

. . .

“...Did you just tell that girl that I was your girlfriend so she’d go away?”

“In my defense, she looked kind of like a stripper.”

_iv. alec and simon_

“So I hear that you're simultaneously dating my sister and Maia.”

“Well, I'm not exactly _dating_ either one of them...?”

“That’s okay, they’re both good girls, but it would be great if you would choose. They both seem to think that _I_ am the person to complain to.”

. . .

“Come on, Alec, you can't desert me!”

“Fine. I'll stay if you tell your friend to stop calling me Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

. . .

“Please stop referencing Star Wars in front of my mom, she already doesn't like you. Now she thinks that I've joined some sort of cult.”

_v. alec and clary_

“Not to be creepy or anything, but you smell really fricking good.”

. . .

“You are... surprisingly adequate at braiding hair?”

“Let’s just say that I am a very long-suffering older brother.”

. . .

“Coffee?”

“Black, like my soul.”

“...Jace. I like her.”


End file.
